I blow my top thanks to the stress and lack of joy I choose to allow in my life and heart. When I found myself muttering “I hate the holidays” while sobbing and hiding in the bathroom.
I don’t actually hate the holidays. I actually love Christmas. I love Jesus. I love celebrating His birth. I love the decorations, the gathering of family, the food, the Christmas Eve Services.
But I hate what it does to my heart. Or rather, what I allow the hustle do to my heart. Instead of choosing joy and celebration, I choose stress and expectations.
Instead of soaking in thankfulness and meditation, I choose to harbor hurt and anger because some things aren’t completed or done to my standards.
I hate that I get this way.
I am sitting here drinking coffee and gazing at my Christmas tree. Those ornaments that hang remind me of the joy I felt as a kid putting them up. They were gifts from my parents as they wanted their children to have their own set of ornaments when we began to have our own families and create our own traditions. They wanted to pass on the joy of Christmas. And in their way, that meant gifting us with our own ornament treasures each year that spoke to our personalities and to our interests. It was always a favorite tradition for myself and my siblings to head to Hallmark the day after Christmas to pick out our new ornament. And truly, I really do have over 100 ornaments that came with me when I got married (much to Dan’s surprise!)
I want to pass on that joy, but in a different sense. I want my kids to see not a stressed out momma at Christmas time, but a momma who is intoxicated with joy because her Savior was born on this day, and we get to celebrate that day with each other. I want to decorate my home and bake and serve not because I have to, but because I get to. My Savior was born on this day.
Yes, this time of year can be stressful, filled with pain, and riddled with expectations, but let’s choose joy and allow God to set it in our hearts. It is a season of celebration!
Do you need a little lift in your heart? Can I pray for you today?
Be a Size You,