Singleness-Hate The Game part 1


Last week (November 8th) we kicked off our Hate The Game relationship series.  Praise God for the turnout and praise God that so many of you were so interested in this topic. 

We addressed the issue of singleness.  What does God's word say about it and the lies society shoves at us.  

Let me be honest and say that sometimes I really envy those who are single.

Let me clarify.  I absolutely, 100% adore my husband.  I love being married, I love the family God has given me and I absolutely love that I get to serve alongside my husband. Every. Day.

But I struggle with the balance between serving God and serving my family.  I have to worry about pleasing God and pleasing my husband.  It is very hard. 

Before I met Dan, I was very much single.  Btw, when I say single, I don't necessarily mean without a boyfriend.  It can also mean that I may be in a relationship but I am not bound or required to please or serve him in the way that I would with my husband. Does that make sense?  Anyway, I was heavily involved as a youth leader for the High School group at my church and I also sang on the worship team nearly every week.  I worked a part time job and was able to serve in as many community service opportunities as time allowed for me. I had absolutely no one to answer to in regards to how I wanted to serve.  Except God.  It was such an amazing time.  It was also freeing to be able to save up some money and focus on school and spend more time in my relationships with my female friends.

Now that I am married, life is definitely different.  It isn't bad.  In fact it is AMAZING!  But I am not able to just do whatever I want with my time like I used to.  I now have mouths to feed, a husband to love, a ministry to help  care and pray for.  If I wanted to do anything that is outside of Illuminate and would require time away from my family, it must be discussed with my husband and prayed about before God.  My priorities are divided. 

Now, Dan would NEVER hinder me from using my gifts.  Which is why I choose to discuss these things with him.  But it isn't easy.  My independent spirit wishes I could just go whenever I want to do whatever I want to. 

I understand when students dislike singleness.  In church it seems that our biggest goal is to find THE ONE and get married and have babies.  But if we keep focusing on finding a boyfriend or girlfriend, we may miss out on some amazing opportunites for God to use us during the time we aren't attached.  When our affections are not divided. 

Paul says this 1 Corinthians.  The church of Corinth had many questions regarding marriage. 

Paul does seem to favor singleness over marriage, but he clearly states his reasons why:

"But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife." (1 Cor. 7:32-33 NAS)

I realize I am married now, and that you may think I have forgotten what it is like to be single. That it is lonely at times.  I get it.  But my hope is that you would use the time while you are awaiting to be the person God wants you to be and serve.  Finish college. Save money. Go on a missions trip.  Get involved in your communities and church.  We only have a short time. We should treat every season of life as a gift and make the most of using the gifts God gives us. 

What season of life are you in right now?  How are you using this time constructively?  



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