Somebody To Love

In high school I kept myself really busy. I participated in Cross Country my freshman and sophomore year, performed in show choir and community musical theater, had a part time job working at Everything But Water at the mall and spent as much time with my friends as I could.

Being busy was the best way for me to distract myself from the loneliness I felt.

It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy those things. I really did. My passion is music and theater so throwing myself into these activities actually helped in finding myself and learning about who I was as a person and what direction I wanted to go in life.

I participated in a beauty pageant to help kick up my self esteem. It is funny…for a little while I felt like I was one of those beautiful girls that all the boys adored in school. Just by strutting my stuff on stage.

My boyfriend and I were off and on. I could tell that while we cared for each other, he didn’t really want to be with me and I didn’t really want to be with him. And a lot of me wanted to just start life over, away from everyone else, and pursue my dreams.

So I auditioned for a performing arts school located in New York.

And I made it.

In fact I was all set to pack my bags and jump on that plane. To head towards a city that doesn’t sleep. To become a performer. But it still wasn’t going to cure my loneliness. My desire to find somebody to love. Somebody who loved me.

Would I still feel worthless while I was thousands of miles away from family?

During my senior year I met a guy who became one of my closest friends. He was a Christian. Let me tell you that I wasn’t exactly fond of Christians. I thought they were hypocritical, self righteous, legalistic and lacking compassion for the rest of the world. I had yet to meet a “Jesus follower” I liked.

But he was so different. He didn’t smoke, drink, or even cuss. He was way different than a lot of my friends. Oh and he talked about Jesus a lot and knew scripture.

And he was nice to me. He didn’t judge me. He even invited me to church a few times but I would turn him down. I wasn’t quite ready to be within two feet of a church. Surely after all I had done and who I was the church would cave in on me. Smite me oh mighty smiter!! (Name that movie).

The summer I turned 19 my boyfriend and I broke up (again) and this time I took my friend up on his invitation.

My life would never be the same.

Posted in: Me

5 thoughts on “Somebody To Love

  1. Tiffany Harper says:

    Thank you so much ladies!!!! I so appreciate the encouragement. This has been amazingly theraputic and eye opening. It is crazy how you can see God moving in your life when you write it all down. Love you!

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