On Thursday, I finally got to attend my Church’s Women’s Bible study. For the past couple of weeks, Sean and I have been working on a potty training routine and I finally felt he was comfortable and confident enough to leave the house and go potty at places other than home. For some kids, it is easy. For others it can be a process. So if you are right there right now and feeling frustrated….hang in there. I understand. And don’t allow anyone to make you feel bad because you didn’t do it their way. If I wanted their advice on how to perfectly potty train, I would have asked them! *wink*
We had an incredible speaker who shared with us her tips on parenting. She titled her message “Being an Effective Juggler”. Oh goodness! That is good!
Here are some incredible takeaways that I got from this wise woman.
1. Basic Training-Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
The best quote I have ever heard: “Babies are born Savages, it’s our job to civilize them.”
Isn’t that the truth?! Our sweet babies are very self centered and they have to be. They can’t take care of themselves and for the first several years of their lives they need us to meet all of their physical, emotional and developmental needs. It is part of the survival mechanism God created in our little humans so that we as parents can learn to understand our child. Understand their personality and their interests and help them to adapt and grow and become an adult. (And let’s be honest….the first 5 years is really all about keeping your curious child ALIVE!)
*Be united with your spouse.
Our priority is to #1. Spend time with our spouse and children
#2. Get in the mommy time. Whatever it is, get it in. Again, please don’t let anyone tell you that you don’t really need it. It an opportunity to refresh, refocus and more importantly, allow the Lord to fill us up. We mommies can run dry too.
#2. Quality vs. Quantity- Luke 6:31 “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
*Always show affection
*Say encouraging words
The most powerful thing she said here was the first five minutes of interaction we have with our child should be positive! So Moms, that means that the second they wake up or come home from school, we should not be nagging them about how they didn’t clean their room like we asked them to 10 million times ago!
I have to be honest, that is a hard one for me. I so often have a lot in my mind and a running to do list that I forget to kiss my own husband as soon as he walks in the door! What??! A positive interaction within the first 5 minutes of seeing each other helps reinforce that they are an important part of your life and that you love them for who they are, not for what you can do for them.
*Protect and Serve: Our kids should absolutely believe without a doubt that we are their to protect them from harm. We can’t protect them from everything. Some things very well may be out of our control. But if you see a situation that you think is dangerous for your child, step in. Don’t worry about anyone else or what they think. You. Step. In.
*Watch and Listen: Always be involved in your child’s life. And be paying attention. Especially as they get older.
*How did I get here: Ahh the sex question. It will happen. Please be the parent that your child can go to for this kind of information. The world will not give them an accurate answer. Please. Please. Do not shy from this.
*Discipline: Proverbs 29:15 “The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.”
You are not your child’s friend. You are their parent. It seems to be a very popular thing with a lot of parents to not discipline their child and try to reason with them believing that will help them “learn” from their mistakes. As most of us know….you can’t reason with a 3 year old. Heck, you can’t even reason with some adults! Why drive yourself nuts trying to explain X,Y,Z to a 3 year old who is screaming bloody murder in the grocery store over a cookie!
*Find their currency- As they get older, obviously your normal methods of discipline cannot be used. But you can find out what means the most to them. They love playing with their toys? They lose an hour. Want to see their friends or go to a special activity? Take that privilege away for a time.
But NEVER withhold love, affection or bribe them with food.
Seriously, I could go on and on. There is so much more that I think I will need to do a part 2. Diane Langan who shared her heart with us this morning. So informative and important for this momma to have as a tool.
Do you have any Godly parenting tips that have served you and your household that you would like to share?